my earthquake baby- cassie de vellis

We were living in San Francisco when I was pregnant with my first baby. It was the night before my estimated due date and I went to bed feeling tired, relaxed and excited that I would soon be meeting the newest addition to our family. 

At 3am we woke to the apartment shaking and our bed banging against the wall, I looked at Davide, Earthquake!!! Living in San Francisco for 10 years, we had experienced our fair share of earthquakes, but this was a big one! After what felt like forever, everything stopped, we looked at each other and thought wow … I then looked at Davide and said, ‘I think I'm in labour!’

My labour was such an empowering, beautiful experience, I loved it. Yes, you read that right, I loved it! I put everything I had learned in our Hypnobirthing course into practice instinctively.  I worked with each surge as they came and went. Lots of movement, swaying and breathing. I laboured at home for 12 hours, listening to my birth playlist & hypnosis tracks, burning my favourite candles (that we bought in Maui on our baby moon) in my calm, happy and focussed state.

When we arrived at the hospital, Davide put up my affirmations on the wall, dimmed the lights and put on our birth playlist again - recreating our space at home. The surges were getting stronger and closer together, I remember being on all fours on the bed swaying side to side, staring at my affirmations on the wall in front of me -  ‘I can do this!’ ‘My baby and body work together in harmony’ ‘every surge brings me closer to meeting my baby’. I was visualising riding a bike up a mountain, moving my hips side to side,  breathing deeply as I made it to the top of the mountain, feeling strong, then as the surge subsided I would restore my gentle breathing again and rest. 

When it was time for me to start pushing, I laid on my side and pushed, I swapped sides and I pushed. I remember getting to the point where my baby's head was crowning and Davide could see it but no matter how hard I was pushing I was not able to get this baby down and out. Eventually my Obstetrician came into the room and after many hours of pushing and 27 hours of active labour he said I was getting weaker and not stronger and gave me a couple of options, I could keep pushing, vacuum or c section. I was absolutely exhausted and I will never forget the incredible rush of pain that hit me when he told me these options - my calm state of self hypnosis that I had been in for over 24 hours had burst in that moment. I became emotional, defeated and upset. We reluctantly decided on a c section and although I was upset I had Davide there supporting me and together we shifted our focus to the fact that at any moment now we were finally going to meet our beautiful baby.

We went into the operating theatre and within what felt like moments, our beautiful baby was on my chest screaming - our baby boy, Cruz. What a crazy overwhelming experience. Davide stayed with Cruz, skin on skin while I was being stitched up then all reunited in the recovery room, where Cruz was immediately put on my chest and had his first feed. My doulas were there waiting for me, they didn't leave my side for almost 24 hours, angels. I was so blessed to have the most incredible support crew with me throughout my journey, they helped me through every second of labour and birth and I could not be more grateful for them. 

Those first newborn moments that roll into hours, staring and cuddling my baby for the first time, are the most precious moments of my life. Learning every single inch of my son, his soft skin, his newborn smell, his little nose, tiny fingers with the tiniest nails you’ve ever seen, his sounds, all of it - soaking it in. Although my baby didn’t ultimately arrive the way I had planned, it was the most perfect and empowering labour and birth because it was mine - I'm so incredibly proud of my body and what it was able to do. All the work Davide and I had put in to prepare for this day showed in the incredible labour and delivery of our boy. Cruz arrived healthy and safely and I finally had my little earthquake baby son in my arms, who definitely did rock my world!

Photo credit: @juliecahillphotography